s.i.c.k

argh damn,i'm sick !! why now ??
i thought that i didn't eat that late, then why i'm sick ??
this fever is turning me down really bad to bed...harrghh..
stuck in my bed, that's one of all things i don't like so much..feels like you're being tied..

this geez-feeling of me

actually,i still have a bit pieces left. But instead, i deny that, cause all of that fact. That blablabla reason, a short story with tragic ending. Yes, maybe it reads so hiperbolic for all of you, readers. And that's my true feeling, for now.

Every single second, i try to carry on, don't want to even remember a small thing i had with her. Cause thinking of it, only scars my heart. I know maybe i am weak, i am not capable of being a men like in the love movie. Such a disgrace i should say, i'm not eligible enough for you.

You know something ? I try to, yeah i tried to make every single moment we had to be great, cool, memorable and other nice thingy. Yet you want it different, screw it all into a mess. Am i wrong. wrong to choose you i guess.

i should have.........

hari cape...cape otak..cape badan...

hmm..pagi ini dimulai dengan mimpi gw yg aneh (emg gw suka berdejavu sebelum2nya)
okay,sdkt bocoran aja mengenai mimpi gw itu..jadi gw bermimpi demikian, gw berada dalam kondisi suatu pesta yang gw jg ga tau itu dmn,pestanya siapa (the hell i would care damn it !!) nah nah nah,posisi gw di sini adalah sebagai saksi mata..
momen yg kerekam di memori otak gw adalah KETIKA ! satu cowo gitu, nyamperin satu cewe (ya iyalah,temen gw normal semua) dan dengan agak mesra gitu kali yah (bkn kaya film2 hollywood jg sih adegannya) si cowo mencium kening dan sedikiit mengenai rambut si cewe tadi itu..yang sebenernya kedua orang itu adalah temen gw jg..hahah..weird huh ? that's my life..call it sucks,but i live through it..

sip,itu adegan pertama di hari gw..next on !! gw maen futsal (yg padahal harusnya gw ikutan mencari dana buat acara di kampus gw yg uda bentaran lagi) sebenernya gw uda pengen ikutan cari dana,maklum gw merasa gak enak dan mau tanggung jawab aja..eh ketmu setan2 jadinya goyah dah iman gw,,batl ikutan cari dana,malah maen futsal sampe pegel otot skrg ini..
dan tadi, temen gw (junior gw di gereja sih) makan bakwan malang sampe nambah dan dia minta bonus sama abangnya dan dikasih !! (magnifico tuh abang,baek2)
mending dikasi satu,tadi gw itung2 sampe 3 apa 4 gituh..kalo gw kayanya uda mau jekpot kayanya tuh..hahahahha

dan skrg gw kembali menyelesaikan tugas gw buat bsok,gw ada presenta*i..grr,pdhl gw harusnya libur minggu bsk dan cuma masuk hari rabu !!!kupret emg tuh dosen,untung sabi nilainya..setelah lama2 berkutat dengan kamus dan wikipe**a,at last tugas gw kelar boss..tapi gw masi blom siapin kata2nya buat bsk gw ngmg...
blm ngeprint,blm fotokopi buat bsk bagiin ke tmen2 gw...asss**WW !!!

ah,dan skrg kembali lagi k masalah hati,,aneh,gw ga mau mikirin dan coba acuhin,,tapi yg ada gw makin dan makin pengen tau ada apa (kaya yg temen gw rasain aja) itu adalah luka,tapi knapa gw selalu dekat sama hal yg namanya "luka"..
emg kata org semakin banyak "luka", akan menambah pengalaman hidup..tp rasa2nya gw bakal mikir2 deh kalo gw harus menambah luka kaya gitu lagi...tapi gw ga bakalan jadi maho juga !!!
cape hati gw,tp kalo gw pikir..lagu2 dari mendiang nike itu sangat sejalan banget sama keadaan gw skrg ini..don't know why,but it reflects aja...apa lagi lagunya dari band asal gudeg...
"mudah saja bagimu,mudah saja untukmu..andai saja cintaku sperti cintaku..mudah saja bagimu,,andai saja lukamu sperti lukaku.." tau deh bener apa engga...
mgkn karena ini gw merasa dipermainkan,entah oleh perasaan gw sendiri atau oleh dirinya...BUT !! kalo gw dipermainkan oleh diri sendiri,mgkn emg gw masi lemah aja kali yah...tapi lagi,gw ga akan pernah berhenti belajar kok !!!

capee oi gini terus..

they said that "2 is better than 1"

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
"Hey, you know, this could be something"
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one


I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,"

Maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking
I can't live without you
'Cause, baby, two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I'll figure it out
When all is said and done
Two is better than one

share pt.1

hmm...where do i start ? ok,first,i'm feeling so down now...brokenhearted and get bored of my usual life..
damn !! can't get up !! this is a nightmare for me..
i want to move along,yes i really want to..but still,another side of me said : "couldn't let go"..
why ??? whyyy ??? why can i ??
am i being to weak ? but this is..just so painful...yet she doesn't care...

My 1st posting

yeaah,i'm a lonesome guy..here to share my loneliness